Re: Where you afraid?
Perhaps you have heard that f.e.a.r. stands for "False expectations appearing real' in that your mind can create some pretty horrible scenarios (I will lose all my money, people will laugh at me, it will never work, etc.) that SEEM real but are just mind movies.
I prefer to spell it differently to remember the steps in overcoming these mind movies:
F.E.A.R.r.
F = Face it. We are all afraid of something -- spiders, flying, failure, success, clowns, etc. You have a choice though... you can choose to continue to live a diminished life by living in fear (c'mon... a spider is just a spider, LOTS of people fly every day, you didn't ride your bike on the first attempt, success is FUN and clowns can make us laugh). Or, you can face your fear and reclaim this portion of your life. And, don't worry... you can face it a little bit at a time.
E = Easy does it. When we are afraid, our breathing becomes faster and more shallow, our muscles tighten, our hearts beat faster. This is the effects of adrenaline. This comes from our cave person days of "fight or flight" when we needed to be ready at all times. These days, we don't have any sabre-tooth tigers to deal. We call that queesy feeling "fear" and react to it when in reality it's adrenaline which we can use to our advantage. So, take some deep, slow breaths; drink some ice-cold water; take a walk; stretch. All of these things will help relax you.
A = Analyze it. What is the WORST that could happen. Write it down in as much detail as possible -- get it ALL out. How will it feel? What will happen next? Now, what is the BEST thing that could come from your action? Again, write it down in as much detail as possible. Consider all the possible outcomes.
R = Replace it. Realistically speaking, the worst possible outcome has a very small chance of happening. And, even if it does, you can still recover from it. If it doesn't kill you then you can learn from it and be better prepared next time. Furthermore, the best possible outcome may not happen -- at least, not right away. What will probably happen is something between the two extremes, probably leaning more to the positive than the negative. Is that out come acceptable? If so, then do it. If not (and you still want to do it), find ways to reduce your risk. Now, replace your negative mind movie with a more positive one. It's all pretend anyway... why not enjoy what's playing in your head?? Besides, if you are more positive when you act, your chances of succeeding are much better. Think about it, would you buy a car from some guy that was complaining about his boss, his wife, his job, the environment, his neighbor, the aweful coffee and was miserable or would you prefer to buy a car from someone who was happy to help you, found you the answers you needed, had good information about the car and was a pleasure to work with?
r = Repeat. You may have to follow these five steps again and again. The first time you confront your fear, you might still be afraid. The next time, you might be able to really see what's going on. The third time, you might even begin you enjoy yourself. Then, you might actually start to look forward to this experience... Shampoos companies even use this technique to sell twice as much shampoo -- have you ever noticed that the instructions say to was, rinse and repeat? You don't really need to repeat -- your hair is clean after the first application!
Does this help you?
