[aquaman]

Hi guys, really in need of a good critique, trying to get typography as close as possible with sport thematic of the brand with this

design

 

[cthulhu93]

Is this your design or a knock off of another companies design? I am not sure what you are asking. If it is your design, I find it too hard to read, I am not going to spend an overt amount of time looking at a man or woman's chest to figure out what it says for obvious reasons. On paper the idea is good, per this design it just doesn't work for me. My 2 cents.

 

[SoloStampede]

I kinda like the white one. It only took me about 5 seconds to figure out what it said

 

[gonz]

not bad. they both work. u just gotta find the right market for it. a christian highschool or something.

 

[greenstonegrphix]

The first one looks nonsensical. The second one is a bit easier to read.

 

[aquaman]

Ha ha ) christian school )) this is good Thanks guys for help, anyway i sow a lot of typo designs that are really hard to read ..

 

[cthulhu93]

Ha ha ) christian school )) this is good Thanks guys for help, anyway i sow a lot of typo designs that are really hard to read ..

Je pense parfois que ces instances ont postes de trolls.

 

[aquaman]

Je pense parfois ces forums sont du.

Sorry I don't understand French,can you please tell it in English ?!
and yes is my design, and i was asking for some critics about it

 

[cthulhu93]

Sorry I don't understand French,can you please tell it in English ?!
and yes is my design, and i was asking for some critics about it

It translates to: I feel like we are being trolled.

Seeing as you are from Quebec, I assumed that you were French fluent.

You only seem to respond to positive praise as opposed to addressing all responses evenly.

As with any request for opinions, one should take the good with the bad and attempt develop a synthesis and middle ground between the two. Again, just my 2 cents.

 

[aquaman]

Oh .. I see .. sorry I did not intended to troll .. i was a simple joke ,sorry if I offended someone.
As for French, I'm a new one in Quebec, so just learning

 

[greenstonegrphix]

Ha ha ) christian school )) this is good Thanks guys for help, anyway i sow a lot of typo designs that are really hard to read ..

Typo designs that are really hard to read are, well, BAD. It's just not good design, if you're trying to get a point across. One of the first things I learned about mobile advertising (T-shirts, bumper stickers, billboards, etc.) is that if you don't get the message in one second of looking at it, try again.

Here's a couple of examples of what I mean. I realize I downsized this too much, but you get the idea. Please don't be offended ...

 

[aquaman]

Here's a couple of examples of what I mean. I realize I downsized this too much, but you get the idea. Please don't be offended ...

greenstonegrphix You read my mind i just done something just like this ) here is it .. but.. i think this isn't perfect to ..

 

[greenstonegrphix]

I think you're well on your way. Post your final design!

 

[aquaman]

Hi again , well I've done some modification, what do you think ?!

 

[greenstonegrphix]

That's pretty cool! Now try it with the alternate "S" words in color. I'm mainly just curious.

Great job!

 

[wonubee]

I don't know man it's just words. I personally like the original white one. I like things with a twist. I'm not so much a fan of the slogan but I do like how you laid it out and changed the colors at the different words. Your modification is boring to me. I stop people all the time to look at their shirt. I mean come on if someone is going to wear a shirt like this I think they would expect for people to take time to read it or they wouldn't wear it and I like the fact that it gives me proper cause to look a bit longer at a nice chest

 

[aquaman]

That's pretty cool! Now try it with the alternate "S" words in color. I'm mainly just curious.

Great job!

Thaks man, but what do you mean "with the alternate "S" words in color." English is not my native language, please explain in another words, sorry

 

[greenstonegrphix]

Sweat Sacrifice Success ... try those in color and the Plus and Equals in black. Having those in bold and color muddies the focus.