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Discussion Starter #1
Okay, I'm done (kind of) with the "coming soon" page, but I need some serious help!

The url is:

www.conquerclothing.com

First, I think I have too much text, but I don't know what to cut out because all of it fits together and gives all of the info that I want a visitor to know.

Second, I really need some help on making it more interesting. I think the text is too bland looking and could use some ideas on how to spice it up.

So have it. Let me know what I can do to make it "POP"!

I know it's just a placeholder site, but I'm pretty sure there must be something that I can do to get people interested in signing up for the newsletter, or at the very least checking back when the site is fully operational.

All thoughts are welcomed and encouraged. Don't hold back. I need the opinions to make it better!
 

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Ok, I am old.. I wear bi, no tri-focals.. your print is too small for me.
Now I know your trying to tell a story.. but why? It is good to have a character to represent your site.. I think your clothes is what will sell your product.. get your stuff out in my face! Not a character unless he or even she is wearing it. Yes you have to much text. Tighten it up and remove about half... and please make it bigger for the old guys.. We wear tees also..
 

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badalou has it right on. Tighten up the text to use less words (I know it's hard, I can be wordy too :)) and make the print text larger.

I would also make good use of whitespace to make the text more readable. Margins on the right and left would make it so that people don't have to read all the way across the screen to read the text.

The header graphic could use a bit of work, as it looks a bit blocky.

I think I would:

  • center the whole page in a 700 pixel wide table or DIV container.
  • Shrink the character a bit
  • increase the font size to about 12. Maybe use verdana.
  • put the newsletter signup box in a more prominent place
  • Edit the intro text so it is 2 or 3 paragraphs max.
  • Not make the whole text bold. Use the bold to emphasize certain words or phrases, not the whole text.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Okay...I might need more help than I thought.
I am VERY new to this web design stuff.

About the text...I knew it was too long, but it's hard to figure out what to cut out. The bold effect is funny. I'm at my day job using IE and it doesn't show bold. On netscape it shows bold. How can I fix this so that it is not bold on any browser?

You say put the newsletter signup in a more prominent place. Where? The top?

I had someone else tell me about the header block also. I'll go back to the drawing board on that one.

Thanks guys!

Hopefully I can get some more feedback before I go home and work on it tonight!
 

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You are never done. I know if you ask for people to look at your site you will get several different views as to how it should look. Listen, decide, do. The fact that your asking shows that you care and that is the most important. There are so many people out there that throw up a site and never go back and work on it. To fine tune it. Me, I am never happy.
 

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I think the other members have pretty much covered everything. Make the text shorter etc.

Also, for newsletter placement, it should go in the top left hand corner as thats where human eyes spend a good majority of the time on your website.

On a side note: I can't wait to see your stuff...yea to urban clothing!
 
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