Ok this was my first shot at CMYK printing. There is room for improvement!
I used Photoshop for separations and printing (no RIP)
printed on an Epson R1800.
I followed this tutorial and followed it to a tee.(LPI, screen angles, etc)
Printed on 220 mesh screens. I used Wilflex Process inks.
Order printed: YMCK
I told the customer they would not look great on black because it would need a white underbase, but he insisted. He seems happy enough with the pictures I sent him. But I am looking for ways to improve for my next cmyk job.
To improve the output I'd suggest a colour profile - at least the colour would be better, it looks a bit dark.
Using a RIP would make life easier and give better quality halftones making printing easier and ultimately better quality.
We use 305 mesh, 60 dpi, print order myck and print our film at 90% black. In photoshop our black generation is set to light. Light pressure on our flood and print strokes.
If this is your first attempt it looks like a really good start. You will have to really tweak your methods to achieve the look you desire on 4cp. But it is worth it in the long run if you master it.
__________________
Mike
If you dig ditches be the best ditch digger you can be.
I use imageit's calibrated double stroke for my transfer curve. Hit up the forum search for more information. My first CMYK job with those settings came out great.
By the way, your print does look good. I agree with mike though, you definitely need less angle on your print strokes.
The reason the calibrated double stroke transfer curve is so great, is that its setup for you to double stroke the print, so you have more room for error/adjustment while on-press.
If you look at your color settings, what is the dot gain on the CMYK you used?
It should be in the area of 35% - 40% (Rough estimate).
If you have made your design with Toyo Inks (coated) 8%, then you can soft proof with a more realistic dot gain.
Select "View" - "Proof Setup" - "Custom" and select a new profile. If you check the box "Preserve Color Numbers", you will see a simulation of printing with the wrong dot gain. Uncheck the box, and you will see a simulation of printing with a convertion to a profile with a (more) correct dot gain.
EDIT: Select a profile like Toyo Inks (Uncoated) 35% Under the soft proof.
I will tell you one thing. I have been printing for more than 10 years and I have never tried a process job. I would say yours looks ok for a first print. maybe try 22.5 for all your angles. On dark garments you should do a simulated process instead of doing what you did.
These turned out a lot better with a white underbase. However I had to dry in between each color. or else it looks like a smudge of colors by the 2nd print. Do you normal do wet-on-wet or flash in between for CMYK?
As for process color on black, I've seen a process of using a discharge ink first, followed by the process printing. I've seen it done with a DTG printer, but not screening. Looks promising.
My first CMYK (not great) 
www.busyPrinting.com
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