Bougie

I grew up with a lot of very bad, negative influences. I had an abusive father who badmouthed me all the time and never said one good word about me in his whole life. He told me things like "You're getting stupider all the time" and "let me draw you a picture so you can understand." He also called me names like "sh**head" and "meathead". And then he had the nerve to tell me to treat him with respect and call him "Sir." My IQ happens to be 140. I'm smarter than 98% of all people. The reason I did badly in grade school is because I had him picking on me at home and I had mean inner city kids making my life hell in school every day. The kids in school did everything they could to pick on me and harass me because they thought it was fun. They pulled pranks on me, spit in my face, started fights with me, threw a raw egg on my neck, etc. This happened every day. I wanted to kill myself. They made me depressed and discouraged so I did badly in school. I had people being mean and negative to me 24/7 and there wasn't even one person who was nice to me. My mother ignored me. She's cold and unloving as a parent. I spent years and years being a huge loser because of all these !$@#$% people telling me "You Suck" and things like that. Then I eventually got severe chronic depression that lasted for years. Then I ended up being taken to a mental hospital for 2 weeks for my depression. The depression was really bad. I felt so hopeless, like I could never make anything better in my life. They gave me anti-depressant pills and that made me feel good for a few months but it was only a band-aid. (By the way I really enjoyed the mental hospital and I actually wanted to stay longer. It was the first time I was ever surrounded by people who were nice to me, plus they had great food, arts & crafts, board games, and ping pong) The Zoloft pills didn't cure my depression. So I read a lot of self help books and I started eating really healthy. These two things cured my depression permanently. Getting a lot of high quality nutrition really does a lot to make you feel better mentally and physically. It also helps a lot to make you feel ambitious. Eating junk food is a downer both mentally and physically. Junk food drags you down and makes you be more depressed and lazy. I hear people say depression is often incurable, but I cured myself. After that, I started listening to audio recordings by Brian Tracy and other people to learn how I should think and how I should live in order to be successful. For a few months, I was listening to these people non-stop. I was listening to them ALL day long! I had to do that to drown out all the negative thoughts and angry feelings about how people treated me in the past, and all the negative mental programming. I still listen to them for about an hour each day. Brian Tracy is like my god! I also listen to Napoleon Hill, Harv Eker, and I used Brad Yates' hypnosis recordings. Now I am doing much better financially and I am moving upward towards more and more success while doing work that I enjoy. I'm using more and more of my full potential. I think I have a lot of talent and I had to use a lot of psychological self help work in order to bring it out of me.

 

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